keeping me awake.

do you ever have flash-forwards? yes. the opposite of flashbacks. where you are an outsider, an onlooker peering through the glass, hand cupped around your face pressed up against the pane. except instead of checking out someone else, you find yourself as the subject of your stalker-ism. i was sitting in my bed that is three feet off the ground, at four a.m. [no big deal], just chilling. when all of a sudden i see myself in a year in NYC at a photography school out in the middle of the mad chaos of the streets snapping away- so many objects, so many opportunities. it was the craziest of the crazies. i had never imagined myself ever being placed in NYC by God, and neither am I saying that now. it was just one of those moments. a moment of clarity, peacefulness, and contentment. a moment of right. which felt rather out of place since i've been feeling completely wrong since i got back from christmas break. i had just labeled it as homesickness...but could it be God speaking to me? leading me? showing me? i constantly pray for his direction, yet never seem to receive it. always thinking he's busy with some other believer who prayed harder, longer, or more sincere than I. but could it be? am i supposed to study photography in NYC? would i even get in anywhere? oh my mouth waters at the thought of all the scintillating photo opts there. seriously, NYC is like the melting pot, the smorgasbord for a photographer [as im sure it is for many other works]. and not only is my mind racing from opportunities from chinatown to the upper east side but also my heart is thumping. have i finally, truly received my own, personal call from my King?

i honestly can not say for certain. but either way i will be waiting by the phone for another call.

if he really means it, he'll call again.

they always call again when they've got meaning.

STOLEN PHOTO OF THE DAY:

(like i said--> schuman is unhuman! his photos make everyone seem unworldly with oozing coolness)